So to answer your first one - I did a fresh install and when I start clean everything works great, haven't really messed with saving or loading preferences but is there a way to reset the preferences file to default if that was the case?
Second - Yes it shows up in the spawn list, with my mage I can see where my pet is but not my character. Same if I switch characters. I've tried rebooting the machines, I've flushed the bridge (I'm using Mac) I've launched SEQ first before launching EQ. Same results soon as I loose that character FOV ring the only way I get it back is to do a fresh install. You mention packet capture/decode issue, do you have any suggestions here? Are previous versions of SEQ more stable?
My only next thought since I'm using a Mac and parallels is to do a fresh install and clone the drive so when it shits the bed I launch the new machine and clone it before it gets used....terrible solution but its a potential workaround.